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Sonoma Academy Alumni Blog: The First Year
In our first blog entry, Sydney Sullivan '19 gives us her totally honest peek inside the first quarter of college. Sydney, a first year student at UC Santa Barbara, will be giving us updates on her post-graduation life throughout this year.
The day I graduated from high school marked the beginning of my first major mid-life crisis. What was to follow included a whirlwind of a trip, a bad-hair month, and a million emotions.
June: exciting, overwhelming, bittersweet
I graduated high school, and left my home for the past four years behind. I felt sad to be leaving such a loving place, but I was so overwhelmed with everything ahead of me that I felt more excited than anything else. In the weeks that followed, I saw every person I had ever met in my life. I went to graduation parties for my preschool friends and told about 10 million adults, “I’m going to UC Santa Barbara and studying Communication.” (Side note: watching every adult who remembers UCSB from their college years bite their tongue and try not to say, “that’s a party school” is pretty funny.)
After all of the graduation insanity died down, I was getting ready for the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Three of my SA friends and I had decided to travel in Europe together (alone!) for two weeks, a trip we had planned thoroughly for months. Still, we were both excited for the adventure and terrified of getting lost or pickpocketed. We dragged our huge suitcases onto the plane and flew to Italy. This trip was incredible at times (the Amalfi coast views and the best pasta and wine ever) and disastrous at others (power outages at our Airbnb and some tears). Just learning how to survive on our own was an emotional rollercoaster, but on top of that, there was a feeling of finality. We were all going our separate ways after that trip, dividing off to California, Indiana, Louisiana, and Wisconsin, so in a way it was the end of an era.
After all of the graduation insanity died down, I was getting ready for the craziest thing I’ve ever done. Three of my SA friends and I had decided to travel in Europe together (alone!) for two weeks, a trip we had planned thoroughly for months. Still, we were both excited for the adventure and terrified of getting lost or pickpocketed. We dragged our huge suitcases onto the plane and flew to Italy. This trip was incredible at times (the Amalfi coast views and the best pasta and wine ever) and disastrous at others (power outages at our Airbnb and some tears). Just learning how to survive on our own was an emotional rollercoaster, but on top of that, there was a feeling of finality. We were all going our separate ways after that trip, dividing off to California, Indiana, Louisiana, and Wisconsin, so in a way it was the end of an era.
After Italy, I traveled to Germany to stay with my boyfriend and his family, and then to London and and then France to meet up with my family. I really appreciated having dedicated time to spend with my family before the college craziness started.
A few days after flying home, I drove down to Santa Barbara for orientation. I’m not going to lie, I did not enjoy orientation. I did get to see one of my future roommates who I love, but the rest of the weekend was painfully uncomfortable and stressful. We had to choose our classes and mingle with other incoming freshmen, which made me all kinds of anxious. I remember thinking that if orientation was bad, college was going to suck. (I was wrong.) I started to stress about how I would find friends and if I would be so homesick I’d have to go home.
Here’s where I went wrong: I decided I needed to dye my hair. To be fair, I went into the salon wanting just a few light pink highlights in my blonde hair. I left that day with neon fuschia hair. (For reference, google LavaGirl.) My hair was horrifyingly pink for an entire month. A word of advice: If you think you might be wanting to make a big change in the midst of an already emotional time, that’s normal, but try to hold yourself back. Pick up knitting or get a pet fish instead.
August: love and goodbyes
In August, I spent a lot of time with the people I love most, and we all pretended that nothing was going to change at the end of the month. We went to our favorite places that would miss once we left, and squeezed in as many little adventures as we could. At the end of the month, we all cried. A lot. And in truth, we all knew this was coming. No matter what, our lives would be changing and we would be growing on our own, and life was going to be so different from what we were used to. We promised to keep in touch and to see each other soon, and went our separate ways.
September: waiting, nervous, excited
My way ended up being home for another month, since UCSB is on the quarter system. I was in a weird limbo space where all of my friends were out living their new lives and meeting new people and I was still waiting. Even though we had all promised to stay in touch, everyone was so busy that it became difficult to find any time to talk. We had to learn how to be okay with having a little distance, and I focused on feeling excited for them. I filled my time with lots of dorm room shopping, reality TV with my mom, and cuddles from my cats and dogs. September was hard for me. I loved being able to spend my last few weeks home with my family, but I felt lonely and anxious about college. I was truly going into my “new life” alone, and that scared me. In response to all of these feelings, I did quite a bit of online shopping and obsessive college-themed YouTube video watching.
October: new beginnings, sadness, excitement, overwhelming!
As my parents drove me down to Santa Barbara, I literally begged them not to make me go to college. I had this feeling that I was being sent off against my will to a place where I would be completely alone. And in a sense, I was right. I’ve always been someone who loves family and close friends more than anything, and I was right about how hard it would be to be without that. Thankfully, the first few weeks of college were so busy that I didn’t even have time to think about anything other than my day-to-day schedule. My roommates and I ate our meals together in the dining hall, and I joined sorority recruitment and started my first college classes. I called my parents whenever I could and texted all of my friends, but I didn’t feel as lonely as I thought I would. Slowly (really slowly), it felt like my roommates became my sisters and my new sorority sisters became my close friends. My classes kept me busy and gave me places to go to every day, and I started to be excited about the place I was. I can walk across the street to go hang out on the beach and the weather is always beautiful when I ride my bike to class.
For me, there was also this question of who I wanted to be. I was starting over, so I could choose to be anyone I wanted. If I could give some advice, I’d say to make sure you only let go of the negative parts of yourself. If there’s something that makes you happy, don’t forget about it. College felt a lot more like home when I started taking dance classes again.
Some days are still hard. I’ll miss my animals or my family or my friends a little extra, but I’ve found a lot of things to love in my new life here too. The truth is, starting college was as emotional as I had expected it to be, but it wasn’t as difficult. A month of not knowing who you’re going to sit with in the dining hall or missing your family and friends or worrying if you’ll make ever new friends seems like a long time, but it flies by. There’s so many things to do and people to meet that the weeks just pass by without you realizing it.
Thanksgiving break is coming up, and I can’t wait to go (old) home to see my family and friends and to hear about everyone’s adventures from the past few months. And after that, I’ll come back to college and make more memories in my (new) home with my second family.
Sonoma Academy Is...
...the only private, independent, college preparatory high school in Sonoma County. On our beautiful campus nestled at the base of Taylor Mountain in Southeastern Santa Rosa, our students are able to explore their interests and passions in a rigorous and inspiring environment that develops a lifelong love of learning and prepares them for college and beyond.
Sonoma Academy admits students of any race, color, religion, ethnicity or national origin, citizenship, gender or gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, or disability, to all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school. The school does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, ethnicity or national origin, citizenship, gender or gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, or disability in administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship and tuition assistance programs, and athletic and other school-administered programs.
